today's conversation

What do you do when someone you love shows no love in return?

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20 Responses to “February 15, 2010”

  1. Cerrolie says:

    If a person is so set on not returning your love shown to them in whichever way …I would personally continue in the same manner.. while praying that they would one day come around and show some measure of response.

    • kirankodudula says:

      I agree with you view. when dearones is not loving as we do it is painful.But true love for them will not allow us to ignore them instead wishing and praying for their change importantly their wellbeing.
      also we do not take to heart their unloving resolve.as said some day they should love that is our inspiration

  2. Brianbenyosef says:

    I believe that we as Christians are to do for others and love others without expecting anything in return. Love GOD with all your heart, soul, spirit, strength. Love your neighbor as you love yourself. The other person may not show you love in return but I think that at some point GOD will touch their heart. So just pray for them anyway.

  3. A2J says:

    Though God has delivered saved souls from the bondage of sin and death, still we turn and appear as if what he has given us does not compare to the life of sin. God still forgives us and still return to sin. Love is not that we love God but that God loves. If we are God’s children then must continue to show love in spite of people’s reaction.

  4. rcabral says:

    I found this question touched me very deeply as this past weekend I struggled with this.

    On Valentine’s Day, my significant other yelled at me that “he hated me.”

    I just felt such unbelief in that our greatest call is to love everyone, even our foes.

    I continue on with the hope that my love and prayers, will cause him to see the greatest commandment of all that of love.

  5. lindellj says:

    For many years I felt this way about my hubsand I was very angery with him because of things that happen in our marriage and showed him in many ways but he, with GODS help!, showed me how to love in spite of. He told me he loved me every day and was kind when I was not. GOD showed me bitter I was and how ugly it looked as it (fear) took hold of my life. things are alot better now and I’m still learning but I’m not who I was. Thank you GOD!

  6. Yolie says:

    I have a long-distance relationship with this amazing guy..on our way to the airport I said I was in love with him. He just smiled and said that he wasn’t in love with me, it stung my heart like rubber bands snapping at my chest…but then I realized that it’s something personal, even though it was hard to hear him say he did not love me, only liked me tons, and cared for me more than I realized, I was the one who decided to fall in love. I wanted to just end my realtionship with him, thinking “why waste my time” we had been talking since Sept ’09 started dating in Nov ’09 , and it’s now Feb ’10..what is taking him so long I would think!! But patience is also involved, tons of it!! What would Jesus do? He would love unconditionally, My boyfriend says he can’t see himself without me in his future, he asked to please stay with him, and be patient, as tears rolled down my eyes I knew he was right. I will love him, and show him unconditionally, and wait patiently until he says those three words I yearn to hear. That way IF it doesn’t work out, I knew I gave it my best shot. The only way I can do this is by letting God’s love fill up my life. I know I can do this in Jesus’ Name!

    • mbfJesus says:

      It is completely your choice to stay with this person. However, as much as you may love him; he did not mince words about how he feels about you. God sometimes works in ways that we may not like, but in the long run is for our best interest. Perhaps this person is not the one for you. Perhaps God is attempting to tell you something through this person. Do leave it in His hands, but be prepared because His answer may not be what you may hope to hear. On that note, trust Him to know who is best for you, because He loves you so dearly, He would not steer you wrong. God Bless!

  7. bethanyF says:

    God is great.

  8. ve9cbc says:

    There are a few people that have done things to me, that are not pleasant. I don’t hate them – I just feel sorry for them. They are wrapped up in an illness that they cannot see and do not want to acknowledge.

    I do pray that God will show them ‘the error of their ways’ and they will repent. If they see their errors or not, that is up to them. Why some people get a pleasure of hurting other people, I will never know. Where I am recovering from an addiction, I fully know the freedom of ‘turning it over to God’. The relief of not bearing the load of the world on your shoulders is truly extraordinary.

  9. Eagle says:

    I have just experienced rejection from a group of people whom I have loved and have ministered to. They reject the love and forgivenness given to them and choose to hurt me even more.

    Leaving the group is my only option. I can only forgive them in my heart.

    The joy of the Lord is my strength. I learn to give thanks to God in the worst circumstances. I experience God deeper and hear more of His heartbeat.

    The best part of every trial is we grow stronger and closer to God!

    • Debi says:

      I think I know a little bit how you feel, Eagle. It’s one thing when those we love just don’t show us love in return, but what if they show contempt? What if the best they have ever done is show conditional love, but you nothing you do ever meetstheir conditions?

      What if these people are your parents and siblings, and what if they also call themselves Christians?

      Yes, we can choose to forgive, to love and to pray for such people, but do we have to continue to expose ourselves, and our children, to their painful ways?

      I am thankful that I am growing closer to the Lord as I try to answer this question using HIS wisdom, not mine.

      God bless you as you rely on Him through this, and every, situation.

      - Debi

  10. ninajanemarie says:

    You cannot make anyone love you. Seek God’s love first. When you are complete in God’s love, you are then ready to love another.

  11. ODJ1 says:

    I show them love. I talk to God and I pray for myself and for them. There’s a reason for someone’s bitterness and pain. I try to be empathetic and try to feel what they are going through. There’s always some truth behind how people behave.

  12. shayskin says:

    I would keep on loving him or her with the lov e that God have place upon me to share my love with him or her one day that barrier will be broken and he or she will recieve the love God gave me to share with him or her. God will alway get the glory Amen
    God have place a wonderful man in my live and he tell me he is in love with me and that can be true but my heart is slowly falling in love with him a blessing from God to both of us the love we share together

  13. oneblessedlady says:

    my view would be knowing that we are all made in a christ like image…jesus is love,his love endureth forever more.its unconditional.
    John 15:12-13 “This is my commandment: love one another as I love you.
    No one has greater love than this, to lay down his life for his friends.” so therefore if i am made in a christlike image i would love even those who dont love me,i would bless them,pray for them,and the lord will touch their hearts using me as a vessel…

  14. eden says:

    i will set him free..i’d accept the fact that not all we want will be granted.

    i will just give him some time to figure things out and the way he really feel for me…and tell him that when he finds it that it’s me he needs, i am just here…waiting for his return…and if he doesn’t, at least i’ve been honest and i did my part.

  15. deb9237 says:

    i would continue to show my love, and will praise God for giving me a loving and peaceful heart. I realize that doing this would be a bit difficult for an imperfect human being like me, but i’m a christian, who has been forgiven and saved, then i must do what a christian must do. God cares.

  16. jeannemw says:

    Hi, I just recently join ODJ, because I think I need to be closer to God & I do need advice & encouragement with what I am dealing with right now..

    This question struck me.. & my experience is more or less like Yolie.. it’s just that we’re not on LD relationship anymore.

    My fiance and I decided to get engaged last November 2009, after a 3 years LD relationship & I move back to my hometown where he & I came from. I used to live in other city for work.

    About me going back to hometown has been quite an issue & he got angry & wanting to end our relationship if I won’t go back. Well, there are some things I have to settle before since it’s my family business.. that’s solved already though..

    And now.. after I’m close here with him.. there’s something going on..
    I learn that he somehow has a crush on other girl who lives in other city.. a business associate.
    That girl, herself has already engaged to other person too.. I don’t understand this.
    I kept it quiet, but we had that discussed, but he said he has nothing to do with her other than business, work stuff..
    But somehow I knew.. he made a new twitter account & it’s all questioning about that other girl..

    He is still preparing our marriage and seems to be looking forward to it. But he’s still with that girl..
    He never said he loves me since the last time we had an issue..

    I don’t know what to do..
    If he doesn’t love, why is he still preparing our marriage?
    If then, the girl also said that she loves him & then what? Is he going to cancel the wedding?
    I asked him before if he has any relationship with the girl, he said he doesn’t have any. She’s a fun friend and a business associate that’s all.

    What should I do?
    Should I just believe his words?
    the clock is ticking & our wedding is only 4 months away..
    I love him & dream to have a future with him..

    God please help me..

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