today's conversation

What has God taught you about how to avoid bitterness?

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28 Responses to “June 8, 2010”

  1. tspean says:

    When I am faced with a feeling of bitterness, I begin to hear my praise music in my head. This removes me from the intensity of the moment and allows me to get into a better place.

  2. maryanneb47 says:

    Right now I’m feeling very bitter and the only thing I could do was read my bible which has made me feel a little better but I still need help. I asked my grandaughter, who is 14 to put the rest of the dishes away and to wash up the few dinner dishes and she said I’ll do it later I’m on vacation. I asked my daughter at 11:00 if she would make sure that Aylla would put the dishes away. I said please and thank you and said good night. This morning as usual neither one did as I asked and I feel depressed,angry, and bitter against both of them because I feel no one has respect for me. I hope someone can help me.

    • maryanneb47 says:

      Well, after I went back to bed and got up and did my devotional readings I did Strength of the Journey for which I read Philippians 2:1-11 and low and behold it shows me that I need to serve my family with humility to receive my reward of eternal life.

      • Smithey70 says:

        Maryanne,
        I am going through a similar situation with my husband. He seems to be having a midlife crisis of sorts :). What I have learned through this ordeal is obedience! I went through nagging, complaining, bitterness, and just plain anger and I finally realized that it’s not my job to change my husband. It is, however, my job to make sure that my own walk with Christ is where it should be. Now instead of constantly praying that God will change my husband I have begun praying that God will change me! That he will help me love him with the love of Christ… in essence, to help me love him TO Christ. If I am being obedient to the word of God, than I find myself less and less worried about what my husbands attitude is. I hope you have a great day! :)

        • maryanneb47 says:

          Thank You Smithey Yes I did forget that I need to change myself. I felt I was put in this situation to show them the way to eternal life which means I need to be more obedient to God’s Word. I’m glad I came to the site to read these comments. Thanks everyone.

  3. clay_jug says:

    not to take offence

  4. ncaberte says:

    I think before you become bitter, it all starts with irritation, then resentment, then anger. If at the beginning it is not resolved then you become bitter. God says in His Word, in James 1:19-21 ” Understand this, my dear brothers and sisters: You must all be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to get angry. Human anger does not produce the righteousness God desires. So get rid of all the filth and evil in your lives, and humbly accept the word God has planted in your hearts, for it has the power to save your souls.” Don’t wait until you become bitter, talk it out with the person concerned and forgive.

  5. atsedess says:

    I am glad this is being discussed because I am going through this in my life now. It is a work situation where I get hurt by poeple over and over again. And I am asking the holyspirit to heal my heart… and I am clinging to the word.

    The feeling that we can ask what we lack is so comforting. and this is what the Lord has though t me through all of this:- We need to feed on HIS word, to cling to it, it helps us stand and sustains us. Praise the Lord.

  6. LindaLou says:

    God is teaching me I must pay close attention to my thoughts, because my thinking is producing something in my life, whether I am aware of it or not. So it may not seem so important that I am feeling bitterness towards someone, but it is actually very important. That bitterness is causing a stronghold (kind of like a knot) to develop in my mind and in my life where nothing good can grow. So I must renew my thinking to think like God thinks, which means I must stay in the word.

  7. Autumnlady says:

    To pray for those who have angered or hurt me. To be forgiving. God forgave me and has wiped my slate clean and that’s is what’s expected of me to do to others.

  8. Woman of God says:

    you can’t hold onto resentments. Remember it’s not about you. If your bitter let it go it will only hold you back when u forgive not only do you free yourself u free the other person. love with love like Jesus, selfless love, forgiving love, and sacrificial love.

  9. Jamie says:

    I know the Lord is teaching me how to deal w/ this matter of bitterness:

    I had a bad accident over #5 yrs ago while caregiving for a family member. Since that day I have been in chronic nerve pain .The nerve pain feels like 100’s of Texas Fire Ants are running up and down my lower spine to the inside right leg & foot. There are what I call good weeks & bad weeks. And, there are very bad weeks w/ the pain where I can’t do anything but lay down & pray . God is the only thing that has kept me going these very long & painful #5 years.

    Here resently I moved to Wellington, K.S. ( my mother’s health). I had a old friend here who I knew years ago. He does not understand my pain & mocks me for being on S.S. Disability, accuses me of making the pain out to be bigger than what it is, and he would even accuse me of just being ‘lazy’ & ‘faking’ the whole thing when I wasn’t able to walk or sit up. This old friend of mine is now no long a friend- as you can imagine. But, now, everytime the pain is at it’s very worse, like tonight, I remember all the hateful words : ” You’re just being lazy!!!” ” You weren’t hurting that bad yesterday!!!” ” YOu can do it- you just don’t want to!!!” ….It hurts a lot when it comes to mind. I think to myself,” How can someone be so hateful?”

    I have been asking God to help me forgive this person, and help me forget the painful words that repeat in my mind.

    • Kathleen Trudeau-Gee says:

      Dear Jamie,
      I have had that pain and know the valley you walk in very well. Yes, there are good days and BAD days and you are not going crazy. People can be cruel when they can’t see anything wrong. Please forgive this person that used to be your friend as the Lord wants use to do.
      Now in regards to the pain. Have you gone to a pain clinic? My doctor, here in Traverse City, Mich. is wonderful! There is a new procedure being done in the last few years. You need to go to a physician who is trained well because it is dangerous. I had it done 2 yrs ago and have been pain free for the first time since my injury in 2001.
      I had many injections and burnings of my pain receptor nerves but this last procedure was the key to my relief.
      I believe God wants us to do everything that is available to us to take care of ourselves and stay healthy.
      I am sorry you have been going thru this very difficult time but I hope your journey will be shortened.
      Your sister in Christ,
      Kathleen

      • Jamie says:

        Thank you Kathleen!

        It does help to hear that someone does understand. I have been blessed w/ a few ppl in my life that have the same struggles I do. I am very thankful for that too!

        What is it that you had done? I know someone who had the nerve that was causing the problems “burnt” . They said the treatment was very painful , but worth it. I guess it stopped the pain for almost a full year. Then, the nerve healed itself and she went to have it redone.

        I know I am not a perfect person. I have made my mistakes in life- believe me. lol. But, I could never see myself accusing someone of faking extreme pain or yelling at someone for being on SS Disabilty. But, like you said, when people don’t “see” anything wrong w/ you on the outside ( not bleeding to death, no bone sticking out for everyone to see, no missing limb )…they have a harder time believing that it really could be extremely painful. The nerve pain is all from the inside.

        I just had my first Lumbar Epidural on the 8th hoping for relief. Instead, the nerve pain became #3 times worse in my lower right leg shortly after . I am going back to my doctor on Monday.

  10. lindagma says:

    I’ve found that bitterness does the most damage to the one with the bitterness. While I’m stewing away, the person or circumstance is oblivious. I’ve also found that it takes root in trying to handle things on my own instead of letting my Heavenly Father take care of things. It is impossible to go through life without being hurt or offended and our old nature kicks in to wallow or reciprocate. I may have to stew a couple of days but with constant prayer and turning it all over to Him, he gives me the peace to “let go” and focus on pleasing Him. After all… that’s what it’s all about… a close and loving relationship with Him that makes me want to please Him.

  11. LindaLou says:

    People say that the person who holds the bitterness in his/her heart is the only one who is suffering, and that the other person is just going on happily with his life. I really wonder if that could possibly be true. When someone feels bitterness towards another person, it seems like on some level, that other person’s peace is also being disturbed. So if we give up our bitter feelings and allow God to work it all out, I think God also can work something out in that other person’s heart, as well. You can be pretty sure something is not right with that other person too.

  12. don don says:

    Acceptance is the first step to avoid bitterness. Accepting the fact that everyone makes mistakes and that we have the tendency to hurt one another. To accept that we also may in the future hurt or touch each other’s ego. This is because we are still being formed in the image of our Lord. And that means that He is not yet finished with us all. With that, every circumstances that may be justifiable for bitterness tends to melt down and go away. Above all, it is only by God’s grace that we are able to let it go and let Him take care of the rest.

  13. lindagma says:

    Today, I’m living out the “let go and let God”. I had word last night that my 45 year old son, diabetic since 10, is having problems with his kidneys. For a diabetic, this is the beginning of the end. I’m holding on to the fact that he knows Jesus and will suffer no more… and I will see him again.

    • LindaLou says:

      To: Lindagma

      I’m sorry to hear you have a son who is so ill. I know nobody can know all you’ve been through because of this situation, but it’s obvious God made ways for you and your family to bear it. May He continue to comfort you and your family and provide you with the guidance you need in this and everything that concerns you.

      LindaLou

    • maryanneb47 says:

      To lindagma; my prayer’s are with you and your son. I hope and pray that things work out for the good.Maryanne

  14. Kathleen Trudeau-Gee says:

    My dear sisters and brothers in the Lord,
    Bitterness is anger that has been swallowed up and festered. Jesus teaches us to forgive. We MUST be diligent in examining ourselves and not let the evil one stir our hearts to hate. Ask the Holy Spirit to help you in examining your hearts. People have issues we can do nothing about but pray, and in praying for that person you will see and feel the Holy Spirit softening your heart. Even when we fell that we can not forgive, tell God. We can not do it alone. Ask Him for His help. Tell Him, we choose to forgive and see what wonders He can do in your lives.
    I also have been walking in this valley and it has been a wonder to see where He is guiding me and how He has been protecting my heart and mind.
    I wish you well on our journey with Him,
    Kathleen

  15. censation says:

    It has taught me that it doesn’t help anyone especially the one dishing it out. I’m learning now to take that kind of emotion to the Lord and leave it there.

  16. pieceofclay says:

    Well, I went on line to look something up for someone else and of course God lead me here for another reason. I have never seen this site before today. I was interested in this topic because I wanted to know how others dealt w/this. As I read I came upon several comments that stood out by saying to look at yourself. Thank you for reminding me that we can’t change the person that did us wrong. i have had so much pain from a girl I worked with and confided in, I had just had an ectopic pregnancy and almost died and at the same time my beloved grandmother died. This person lied and tried to get me fired and I have no idea why. I have always been an exemplary employee so the accusations were shocking to me. She was supposed to be Christian so it hurt me more than a worldly person ever could.I no longer work there because I quit before I got fired. Now I recently heard how well she is doing as a missionary in Africa everyone paying her way for everythinig and having children. I still feel like crying when I think about the injustice. This reminded me that THIS is what Jesus went through on a daily basis for me. I am reminded of His persecution. i came across Romans 8:28. Knowing that it’s the enemy that wants to keep reminding me of this I have to rebuke the thought and stand on God’s word knowing that in His perfect time He is molding me into the person HE wants me to be so I can be better used for Him.
    Before I begrudgingly prayed for help and for her but now I know it’s an honor. I am vary visual so the scene that comes to mind is when Jesus was being torn to pieces in the movie “The Passion of Christ”. I felt that every tear of his skin was for each one of my sins and there was someones name for each strike..it reminds me of what He did for me/us. In his name I am reminded to walk. Have a wonderful, joyful week in Christ.

  17. tim gustafson says:

    I have to remember that I am an object of God’s grace. I have to recall how much injustice Jesus took, just for me! A root of bitterness ruins everything. Most of all, it ruins my witness for Christ.

  18. TLC says:

    I Could’t of said it any better. That’s why where here and alive today and that’s why we go thru what we go thru, give it good or bad. Thanks be to God.

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