The familiar darkness of clinical depression rolled over Leigh as she sat on the edge of the bed holding a revolver—tormenting voices urging her to pull the trigger. As a Christian wife and mom, she knew this picture was all wrong, but the consuming illness had clouded her mind. Apart from her husband and doctor, no one knew of the daily struggle she faced. Leigh slowly put the gun down, walked out the room, and chose to begin reaching out and sharing her story with others.
Following Elijah’s stunning victory over the prophets of Baal, Queen Jezebel threatened to kill him (1 Kings 19:1-2). Consumed by fear and disheartened at her words, he fled alone into the wilderness where he sat under a tree and begged the Lord to take his life. “I have had enough, Lord,” he said. “Take my life” (1 Kings 19:3-4). Elijah fell asleep, but an angel of God woke him, telling him to eat and drink. He did so, and then began walking for 40 days and nights to Mount Sinai (1 Kings 19:5-9). God met with Elijah and told him to return through the wilderness, where He would anoint the future leaders (1 Kings 19:15-16). The prophet had become depressed in his desperation and felt alone in his convictions, but God showed him that there were 7,000 others who had also remained faithful to Him (1 Kings 19:18).
When you’re at your wit’s end, spend time with God and have the courage to tell Him and others how you truly feel. Although Leigh continues to wrestle with dark thoughts, she has found comfort in other moms who also battle with depression. Together, they pray, hold each other accountable, and regularly remind themselves of God’s presence and promises. God doesn’t leave us alone.
NLT 365-day reading plan passage for today: 1 Samuel 10:1-27
Read Deuteronomy 31:6 and consider what it reveals about God and His presence.
Do you feel isolated and alone? Have the courage to be vulnerable with God and with godly people you trust. Know that you are not alone.