Category  |  singleness

Reflections of Marriage

Our pastor read this verse during a sermon: “It’s better to stay unmarried, just as I am” (1 Corinthians 7:8). Quite happily wed himself, he followed the reading by saying, “Marriage complicates things.” Seconds later, a masculine voice emitted a long exaggerated “Aaaaamen.” The congregation broke into laughter.

the three Cs

I recently heard a speaker who had engaged in an immoral lifestyle in his younger years, but later received Jesus as his Savior. He now oversees a thriving ministry. In his talk, he described “three Cs” that should comprise intimate relationships.

sexual freedom

Nearly half of the children born in my country are born to unwed mothers. One million more are aborted each year. Teenagers can purchase over-the-counter “morning after” pills. Our Supreme Court has ruled that men may marry men and women may marry women, and anyone who says otherwise is injuring them. Few people think they should wait for marriage to have sex, and many who do marry still end up divorcing their spouse.

the right time

I recently officiated the marriage of a young couple. After the ceremony, the bridal party headed out for some photos prior to the reception. My wife and I were invited to the bride’s home for some sweet fellowship and treats on the family’s backyard patio. Suddenly, the mother of the bride emerged from the house with tears in her eyes. She held up her daughter’s purity ring and with a choked up voice and tender smile, uttered, “She left this on the kitchen counter.” The decision of the young woman to wear a purity ring had been an outward sign that she had vowed to remain sexually pure until marriage. Now, the ring was no longer needed.

you choose Q: is it sinful to live together after a divorce?

Q: If a man and wife divorce and decide to live together after the divorce, is that still sinful?  —Jeannette

A: The question of whether it is sinful in some abstract way for a man and woman to live together outside the bounds of marriage isn’t the main issue.

Marriage is a public covenant that binds a man and woman together…

smartly, not seductively

I had an interesting conversation with a friend recently. “Much preaching about women dressing modestly has been destructive,” she said, “because it subtly places the blame for men’s lust on women. Men should take responsibility for their lust, and women should be free to wear what they want.” My friend’s words got me thinking.

mr. right

In an online forum, one woman wrote: “I’m single, over 30, and under pressure from parents, friends, and just about everyone around me to get married. Haven’t met the right guy, but still praying to. I’m really looking for ways to cope with this and would really appreciate sound advice.”

idols of affection

In the final scene of the movie, the leading man—eyes brimming with tears—summarized his life to his girlfriend: no friends, no job, and a shady past. He had no family ties, no apparent faith in God. He really had only one thing—the love of his favorite girl, and he vowed lifelong devotion to her. To make her happy, he had refrained from violence, remained monogamous, and had stopped using certain unsavory words. Everything he did and planned to do revolved around the beautiful starlet he’d fallen for.

worth the wait

Everybody is waiting for something. What are you waiting for—employment, marriage, family peace? Imagine having to wait centuries for the fulfillment of a promise, but there was no evidence that it would be fulfilled. This was the spiritual and emotional climate during the time Jesus was born. People were waiting for God to fulfill the promise of restoration through the Messiah, but the political, social, and spiritual darkness concealed any evidence that God would keep His promise. Many people became weary of being righteous. Yet, there was a man who continued to wait and trust in God’s promise (Luke 2:25).

true love

When I stopped by a nearby restaurant to pick up some food, a guy and a girl standing in the parking lot caught my attention. Their arms linked together, the guy craftily reached to place his hand between her legs. My heart sank, and I began to pray that they know the beauty of glorifying God with their bodies (1 Thessalonians 4:3-5).

you choose Q: I've fallen in love with an unbeliever . . . what should I do?

Q: I've fallen in love with an unbeliever, but I know it's wrong. What should I do?  —Keliya

A: Keliya, your heart is obviously torn in two over this relationship. On one hand, you're strongly drawn to a young man. This is understandable, for—as a human being—he bears the image of our Creator God. Apparently, your boyfriend also possesses some qualities that…

you choose Q: how can single people relate to "family values" Christians?

How can single people like myself relate to the "family values" Christians?  —Sharon

Thanks so much for sending in this important question. We believe you’re asking, How do I relate, how do I cope in this world as a single person? Single people have unique problems, temptations, and opportunities. And, yet, we’re all human beings that need God and Christian community to…

no-sex week

For several years, Yale University—an elite institution in the US—allowed students to engage in an annual 7-day sexual frenzy known as Sex Week at Yale. The week included “prominently featured titillating displays, [porn] film stars, and commercial sponsors of such material.” But a campus group called Undergraduates for a Better Yale College rose up and challenged Sex Week, declaring that…

tears in a bottle

Lisa Linehan is on her way to the altar. She’s booked a wedding location, purchased a dress, and has even set the date. Unfortunately, she doesn’t have a groom, even though she has “been out with 70 different guys” to find one. Here’s a peek into her thinking: “I get so excited thinking about this wedding. And I still hold…

free your mind

“Sow a thought, reap an action: Sow an action, reap a habit; Sow a habit, reap a character; Sow a character, reap a destiny.”  —Samuel Smiles

One of the first things I realized after I was wholly surrendered to my Christ was that my thought life had gotten me in A LOT of trouble. My thoughts ended up becoming my…